I used to ride a horse to school…

No. You did not read that wrong.

In middle school, a few friends and I rode horses to school every morning. We held reigns. We trotted. On our PRETEND horses. As in… there was no actual horse. Sometimes I wonder how I survived middle school at all.

Now in all fairness, one of said friends actually took riding lessons. But me? Nope. I did not. I just pretend trotted. I kept a ‘stable’ of horses, complete with names, in my closet. It was a thing. I mean sure I wasn’t the coolest kid in 6th grade but really, who is at that age?

Why am I telling you this?

We all do weird things. So fly your weird flag and be proud of who you are. I mean, I don’t still ride pretend horses when walking around but… it happened. And surprisingly there is a new movement…where kids are competing in stick horse events.

Don’t believe me? Check it! https://youtu.be/xPlrtDEBUHA

A THING! hahahahaha

Ok so moving on… The Tutor is nearing release and it’s cover reveal. The Tutor is weird–just like me. Just like you. It will push boundaries. Make you think hard about love and what it is. What it means. It is gritty and edgy and at times raw.
It’s a little dark. It’s sexy. It’s suspenseful and thrilling.
In honor of its impending release, I am giving away a Signed Copy of The Marriage Pact and an Audible copy of Imposter!

ENTER GIVEAWAY

✨Check out what people are saying about them here:
Amazon: http://amzn.to/2nOUZxD
B&N: https://goo.gl/SdRxDq
Kobo: https://goo.gl/b8grOQ
iTunes: https://goo.gl/okIjlN


Amazon: https://goo.gl/RgYpg5
iBOOKS: https://goo.gl/eipMcJ
NOOK: https://goo.gl/wUKrqJ
KOBO: https://goo.gl/6mqqHl
GIVEAWAY! http://gvwy.io/aqlvd68
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Biff Slapped

/\/\   that is not a typo. We adopted a new pup in January to give Doodles a friend. He was a stray street dog in Peurto Rico at six months old. Imagine his surprise being relocated to Maine! Here is how that’s going.

Doodles is 6. He’s a beagle/basset mix (so awkward as fuck looking) and he is the best dog a girl could want. Until Biff. Yes, we named our new dog after Biff from Back to the Future. 🙂

Doodles is now suffering from a severe case of only child syndrome. Doodles is smart. Doodles is loyal. Doodles is chill. Doodles has been an only dog for too long apparently.

Point 1. I give both Biff and Doodles rawhide bones to chew on. Doodles gently removes his from my hand like always and goes to lay down. Biff does the same. Doodles does not eat his bone. He watches Biff chew his. He quietly gets up and slowly, casually even, approaches Biff and gently removes Biff’s bone from his mouth. He then carries it back to his spot and drops it on the floor next to his bone. He lays down and ignores BOTH bones knowing they are securely out of reach from Biff.

Point 2. Doodles will no longer eat from his bowl in the kitchen if Biff is in there eating. He doesn’t want to see Biff when he eats. He apparently has a no eye contact rule.

Point 3. All Biff wants to do is whatever his older brother Doodles is doing and to play. If Doodles is on the couch sleeping, Biff must join him. He jumps up on the couch and snuggles right into Doodles awkward body to sleep. Doodles promptly jumps off the couch and into a chair where Biff can’t fit.

Point 4. Instead of letting Biff know that he is doing something wrong. AKA chewing Daddy’s slipper. Doodles refuses to acknowledge Biff at all while in the act. I caught Doodles staring at the refrigerator unmoving while Biff destroys (insert any object really) right in front of his face. Doodles face says… No. I will not be a part of this. This is how one gets yelled at. By pretending you don’t exist, I will not get in trouble.

In short, my most loveable dog Doodles, is being a dick! They play occasionally and there is no aggression between them. I don’t want PETA up my butt over this post. It is most closely relatable to an older sibling who is grievously irritated that their younger sibling exists. It is also worth mentioning that Doodles has like…no legs… so when they play Biff rears up and uses his front legs to bitch slap Doodles face. Hence, in our house, it’s now called being Biff slapped.

xoxo

Nice Butt

What’s shakin’? I’ll tell you what’s shakin’ with this bacon…. The Marriage Pact is LIVE!
Here are links… and please consider leaving a review!
Amazon
B&N
KOBO
iTunes
This is Mara and my 3rd book co-authored together. It’s a great story based on a viral Reddit post. I really hope you consider picking it up and giving it a shot.

In the meantime- in true K form- I panicked at the grocery store. About Easter. I thought it was THIS Sunday. I half-assed it and bought the kids stuff for baskets I don’t have. I was like…well no biggie- I will just use bowls in the house. So I grab two bunnies, a bag of jelly beans and a bag of mini eggs and yellow grass.


(They are 12 and soon-to-be 11)  They must be at the end stage of believing right? They’re just in it for the candy right? It’s not about the candy anyways RIGHT?!

Anyhow, I bring all the stuff home. I dig around for good bowls to put their sugar in and then look at the calendar. *facepalm*

Who else panicked for a moment there? Did I scare you? Were you like oh-shit-easter-is-this-sunday? No? Just me.

Do you have any idea what it is like to NOT eat Mini eggs that will be hanging around in your house for NINE DAYS? If those kids are lucky there will still be candy left for them to eat come the 16th because I have serious willpower issues when it comes to Mini eggs. Come on, they only come out once a year!
What is your guilty pleasure surrounding Easter?

Moving on…


On a side note, there is a video making the rounds…about a butt. Or not about the butt but includes the butt? Have you seen it? No? Well, let me enlighten you.


You can watch it HERE

xoxo

The Marriage Pact

We’re live folks.
http://amzn.to/2nOUZxD
Eeeeep!! Have you picked up your copy yet?
This one is based on a viral Reddit post. We read that post and took the story and ran with it. Mara and I sincerely hope you fall in love with this one.
B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-marriage-pact-k-larsen
Kobo: https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/the-marriage-pact-9
iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-marriage-pact/id1220146402

The Tutor

Writing this from my tiny little Chromebook flip thingy. It’s the tits ya’ll. I’m taking a break from writing to update you all on more stuff and things going on. I will be at the TalkBooks Author Event in Peabody, MA April 8th. I hope I will get to meet some of you there! #TAE2017 *is anyone out there?* So I wrote a book. It’s called The Tutor. It’s basically done. It’s in the tweaking, polishing stage before it goes to the editor and formatter. The Tutor is … unique. It’s different. It is a dark-ish romantic suspense. I think. I mean it kind of doesn’t fit into any one genre. But I wrote it and I love it. Like I really love it. I am convinced some of you will NOT love it and …that is ok. I will still love on it anyway because it made my soul happy to write. It’s about a girl named Nora and her experience being held hostage for 24 weeks. It’s about her friends and how her time away affected them. It’s about the psychiatrist who treats her and the Agent who longs to solve the case. It’s about two other victims and how they cope. It’s about a man who does terrible things but isn’t always terrible. It’s also about how we as humans can adapt and change to survive and still fall in love. Weird right? *shrugs* I like weird. It’s up on Goodreads now if you want to add it.  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33831652-the-tutor It will release June 5th this year.    I am going to do an ARC a Day Giveaway leading up to release. I will be giving away a Kindle release week too. And I hope you all take a chance on this one…you might like weird too. I’ll blurb you. After a graduation party gone wrong and in desperate need of money for her first semester of college, nineteen-year-old Nora Roberts needs to escape her hometown. She applies and ultimately accepts a summer long, live-in tutoring job at a secluded home deep in the mountains. The student is ten-year-old Lotte. Holden, Lotte’s brother, Nora and Lotte are the only residents of the quaint homestead. There is no running water. No electricity. No internet or cell service. Lotte and Holden live off the land. Despite the remote location, Nora is sure this is exactly the escape she needs to reset, regroup and have the funds she needs for college come September. But when her tutoring job nears its end she’s hit with a brutal turn of events that she never saw coming. In the end, only one can be left standing. Author’s Note: This is a dark romantic suspense.  Trigger warning: all of them. This will not elicit warm fuzzy feelings. Will you support my thunderclap (it is FREE) and I need the help! ha. https://www.thunderclap.it/projects/55026-the-tutor Also, if you are a BLOGGER, and are considering needing an ARC. Sign up here!   Ok it’s time to get back to work on my next project… and no I am not sharing what it is yet. LOL But seriously- don’t you have anything you need to do? Even my dog is giving me that look that says- ‘get shit done’. So I’m off.